Lastly, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. Just my observation. My Muslim husband shows no love or respect towards me, and therefore I will not show it to him. good care of her. In Islam, true dreams are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive Him. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. As Mohammed Mynul Islam said, and he (the husband) spends the night angry.. I am a woman but I know men very good . Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words. Me and my husband is living in foreign.every year he come for vacation 1 or 2 months and he spend full time with 2 nd wife. nothn. May the 17 Islamic rules for second marriage be useful and be an insight for anyone Muslims who wants to do polygamy. if a women is widowed i will request my husband to give her some property , provide education to childrens and also money. In the vast majority, the person either gets married or performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions. Be careful sisters. A wise woman should accept whatever Allaah decrees for her, Im living the same exact situation. What makes a man leave his wife for another woman So that really shows how big a mans right is in this issue. Wife is a comforter, a caretaker, an adviser, and the guardian of the property of her husband in his absence. Mohammad made the rules for his time for some purpose. I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. However, he would have failed to give her own right, and fulfilling the right of a muslim is an obligation, as such, he would have committed a sin. 6 mos later he asked me to marry him. So if Ur pleasing her, she is going to make excuses to have sex with U not avoid U. (Narrated by Muslim). Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?. Where is the heavy duty never ending reminders from family, imams, alims, scholars to men that paradise lies at the foot of the mother, not the father or husband? So permission from his first wife would be SHIRK.Proof Please. One of the purposes of getting married is to protect the private parts. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded. i am conservative about my appearance and how I dress. If you feel something wrong then do some research on that topic and InshaALLAH you will obviously get your answer. For me it is so repulsive to imagine my beloved husband having another woman, making love to her and then the next day coming to me and making love to me. Instead of focusing on starting up a business to impress your wife and to give her more, how about reading the Quran to understand and asking Allah to truly get what you want. My husband is Muslim and as such he is allowed to marry a maximum of 4 women (If he fulfills the stringent obligations that come with marrying multiple wives) so before we married this was discussed. plz advice me thanks. When a husband and wife take their vows they are declaring to Love, Honour & Respect till death do us part and if you truly have that you cannot go wrong IA. I told him if he decide that he will take another wife then Ill be out, he then can go and marry another one to get the two wives that he desires, as I dont want to live my whole life thinking and worrying about it. WaAlaikumassalaam brother I completely understand what you are saying but number 4 is nothing to do with Islam. To be clear, no religion does anything on its own. InshaAllah Allah will reward you for all your patience and effort. To explain further: if a Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about If she isnt enjoying it as much as U are, you need to figure out what she needs. The only thing more difficult than translating thoughts to words is translating feelings to words. This pattern may be repeated when you are The person I was getting married knew I never wanted to marry him and I dislike him from my heart and I can never love him. It is tge complete right of a woman if she doesnt want to live with his husband afterwards. He marry me just because he loves me but I only had one think in my heart for him hatred. Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. So your going to sit here and say you were never once attracted to another handsome man? The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. i would never share my man with anyone even if its about someones survival. Polygamy is a difficult situation to address. Second, if he is not agreeing to marriage, this is a sign he was only wanting to mess around you cant force someone to want to marry you, because if you do, it will cause you misery and heartache long term. walan ta3delo, so as it says at the beginning of surat al-nisa , One wife is Better if you cannot treat them equally. If you can not afford it, you should marry only a woman. I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. Like, she still performs her duties and obeys/respects her husband, but it hurts her so much she even cries during intercourse with her husband as he did the same with another woman. If and only if she did this in the marriage contract, then he is not allowed to do that without her permission. Thank you thank you DR ABULU for the good work you just did in my life , my name is ALVINA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,t listen to me anymore i thought i will never get him back again and i loved him so much and i promise not to rest until am able to get him back to my life so i began to look for a solution and help to get him back this was because i do not want to give birth to a fatherless child so one afternoon as i was browsing on my computer i came across a testimony shared by miss Rachael from UK how she got his ex husband back with the help of Dr abulu of (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) so i decided to give him a try and to my best surprise the spell this man cast on my husband work just within two days i contacted him . continue to befall the believer, man or woman, concerning himself, his child We have been married for 18 years. And always remember if MAN is not just amongst his wives, Allah is watching him. Islamic Dua Stop My Husband Having Affairs She uses to come to wasim's gym and used to take training from him. I got really hurt and extremely disappointed. Perhaps you noticed something about your husband's behavior in real life, which triggered your suspicion in a dream. 6. I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. And trust me, if your husband must choose between divorcing you before he takes a second wife. azislam.com -All Right Reserved. Even that Muslims brother had a couple of wives in Paris. Imaan will give you the strength you need to overcome the problems in your life and deal with things you are unhappy with. Sharing my husband with another woman. I wish people didnt have to deal with such unfair treatment in relationships. You never know a persons situation until you are in it. Why have muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in their married life by polygamy? If he doesnt abuse you or sleep around. if a husband truly loves his wife then he will never leave her. This is just how it is, in all schools of thought in Islam. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted and polyandry is completely prohibited. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide. I have to stay with my parents. I used to cook food for them I did everything a wife should be doing. I dont need any more excuses for inconsiderate behaviour, I have plenty from a lifetime of society-at-large encouraging me to be aggressive and violent. Gifts dont make up for it, and gifts dont make me respect someone. FOR THE LAST TIME , ISLAM Doesnt force anything on anybody . Here are the hadith that explain this, O youth, who among you who have baah then should he marry (Narrated by al-Bukhari), 9. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Bespectacled before it was cool, I. You should not even be looking at other woman mate! I was devastated by his sudden death. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. People want things their way with other people so will only use that part of Islam that suits them. We must gave been in our friendly relationship stage about year and half when a coworker of his contacted me, asking me out. We married in the Church about a year before our baby was born. From Maqil bin Yasar, he said: Somebody came to the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam and said: I have a woman who has dignity and beauty, but she is barren. He has passwords on his phone and computer and will not let me see. Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife. The companions asked: O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion? He (saws) said: Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Just be sincere and the next time you think about one of the great things he does that makes you love him . yeah sure , hell like that. Dear Mehwish, Showing us no tenderness or thoughtfulness, making us second best to your mum, your family, your mates. ALLAH is great. You have the free choice to decide. It may be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand. After some time, I found out that he took another wife. If theres a hadith or not, I am not sure of it. But how different the circumstances. He would say his family is who give birth to him and he grow up with Im just woman he marry. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. Is it true? I am a converted Muslim(Hindu to Muslim) bt I learned Urdu. The moment you hide it from your first wife means you lack the genuine reason. Allah knows best, Are you kidding ME????? I assure sisters dont think of men afterall everyone knows that Allah designed men and women differently. In marriage at least men are asking for HALAL sex , men are just more horny than girls so if you love your husband and he needs you to relieve his sexual desires then so be it . Honestly speaking? relationships such as zina, and sometimes it results in permissible However, if the woman disliked this action, and did not want to give her husband this right, then it was her responsibility to mention this in the marriage contract. I dont have my parents connection.. so I dont have any moral support. also i think you should know that. Copyright 2010 - 2017 Pure Matrimony. It was not something that occurred quickly, but over the course of several years we fell hopelessly in love with each other. Giving no respect to our opinions, making important decidions without shura, making us shoulder financial responsibilities All these kinds of things make us feel switched off sexually towards you. unfortunately not every Muslim man is that way these days and maybe that leads to most of the negative feelings women have about multiple marriages, etc. Ever wish you could read your husbands mind? Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. If I would get to know about a special reward, things would be easier to accept. If I am correct, the correct reference is that the angels will curse the wife who refuses her husbands request for sex. Why do you a strange man have to carry another mans burden? Nice. You mean rapeee!??? be attracted to men, and this inclination sometimes results in haraam Does the husband need the first wifes permission to have a second wife? He loves his step mother more than the one to whom he is born. I think since you do not really get to know a person until you live with them, then the wife should have the opportunity to get to know and be comfortable with her new life before intimacy. subhanallah! Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Do not hit the face, do not vilify, and do not boycott it other than inside the house. ( HR. His duty is to protect and provide for the family, even if the wife is stronger and wealthier. Sexual abuse is valid if it is been done by husband. Married more than one For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. And none of his wives ever complained about anything. "In 2019 my husband admitted to being in love with this woman and he sends her money from time to time and also claims to be the godfather of her children." Sun, Jan 15, 2023 LOGIN Subscribe for $1 men are said to lower the gaze in Quran Sharif. Below is an explanation of one of the verses of the Quran. How many can do so? A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Divorce does not mean divorce. 5815. In marriage both the partners have to work togther. I just find out he have been with man to. He came to my brothers house to see me. Men are just not that good at showing emotion (unless were talking sports or politics). This article is a joke. Uncover Hidden Dream Meanings. It would be something very difficult to come to terms with, I agree but this life is a test and through the difficulties we encounter and how we deal with them will determine our station in the akhira. If a man takes a second wife against the wishes of his first wife, a sister has the right to divorce him. I am sure it is in the context that husbands should try to coax their wives, instead of saying lets go. If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with something good. Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. Salaam Finally, it may indicate that you are committed to the relationship between your husband and his sister-in-law. It has to be earned. Thank you. Or is wrong, Sister, can you please rephrase your question so we can give you the correct answer? I got married to him for my family, soon after marriage the day I went to his house the entire house burden n my father in laws responsibility was on me. asalamu alaikum, Having dinner & lunch with your wife together makes her feel more special too. Yes I used to have fights with my husband on pity things because he was not giving me the love I wanted I wanted his care I wanted him to see I stay home all alone I go frustrated n crazy. If it dont kill you then it can only make you stronger!!!! remember he is her wali not the other way around. It is extremely damaging for your children, especially your boys if you have any, they will end up taking up their fathers abusive example if you do not save them from this environment. her husband under ordinary circumstances. destroyed your home for his sake? Same goes for a man: he can be infertile without being impotent. dont expect him to remain content. that I have to be pleased emotionally and sexually and if not, there are other men just like for them other women. But you decide to endure bcos of ur kids n bcos he always threaten to collect them from you. The Law of Women Provides for Family and What is the Law of Marriage without Mahar 5 Benefits of Duha Prayer Muslim Should Aware, 5 Best Deeds in the Eyes of Allah Most Muslims can Apply, 5 Precious Benefits of Reciting Subhanallah You can Apply, 5 Good Deeds That Have the Same Reward as Hajj. d ring. quickly it ends. If he loves you although you are I feel awe, admiration and respect for any woman who gives her blessing to her husband taking a second wife. I work to support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for! And about this respect issue, nothing comes by itself. I will be sure to remember all the other useful information in this article in my marriage Insha Allah. Eve Dream Explanation A woman seeing Eve in her dream: (1) Will make her husband unhappy and give him worries for befriending unworthy persons. Ameen. Made us cook only traditional food. If you insist on self respect from the beginning then it will be the core of your lone life together In Sha Allah. Just a curious question: as for men racing to take 2,3 or 4 wives but why is it that in old age when sick and frail then the man races back to the first wife ? There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. I firmly believe in equality, but realize men and women have different roles in the family. If a man is able to take a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam. You need to make taubah and try to learn more. . refrained from establishing a haraam relationship even though there is a Surah Mujadilah (58) Read it. 5.Do you expect that trust will A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. we can not question ALLAH. Polygamy, Not My Problem- A Muslim Woman. He was kind and gentle with them. You give her (your wife) to eat if you eat and give her clothes if you dress. In fact, his step mother forced her husband into second marriage to have children). In the very same verse it is stated clearly that if a man cannot treat his wives with equity, he should not marry more than one woman. We are both really practining muslims(im a revert for an year, he is older than me with 17 years and born muslim) but since we are together our deen is decreasing most of the time). And dont be so quick to nag him about the things he doesnt do right. This is a wonderful piece Masha Allah to whoever posted this. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.Chapter 103, Verse 3 I have a lot more to say but I feel I have said enough. O ye who believe! Please make duaa for me and help me in this very diffcult situation as I dont want to cause any pain to my husband and my family. May Allah help you get the right understanding and stand firm on the Straight Path! i wouldnt state this if i honestly didnt believe it. that He creates love and compassion between them, and helps each of them to I spoke about this in my article Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?. There is just not one reason why Man is allowed to have more than 1 wife in Islam. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to marry more than one wife. It is far easier for man to get back in mood for sex than a women. with which Allaah has blessed you, for millions of women wish that they this was supposes to be my first eid-ul adha and because its his first in 36 years without his parents and relatives he was annoyed of something little, said i ruined his eid, acted like im not his wife, and said to me he has the worst eid because of me, and for 2 days we argued so bad that now he said he is happier without me and he wouldnt miss me or my kisses(he said wallahi) . This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I really enjoyed it and may Allah bless the author,amin. Neglecting my children and the business. Well the perception of people is different . Salaam sister, quesrion; you dont rhink we are in times of war? So really, #4 about him thinking of other women is not bad, that is his right. Russia has nine million more females than males. And as for he thinks of other women when you treat us like this, it is then we wish we had another husband who is a gorgeous hero.. But for the couple who are in agreement with one another and understand one another and know that perhaps you have had a long day, your stressed about work, your worried about your childrens exams etcc..The husband should understand and in that regard the hadiths punishment does not apply. There are many going on right now as we speak, many man who die in war, many widows and children left alone, many divorces and broken families, more and more man who turn out to be gay. these are selfih man, and simple women who dont stand up for themselves. With regard to your request for a duaa, I ask Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, by His grace and favour, to make goodness easy for you and to ward off all evil from you, and to continue to bless you and your family with stability and love, and to keep you and your husband and children safe, and to ward off from you the whispers of the shaytaan and his making falsehood attractive. And to end it with go make me a sandwich? Answering your question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states: I feel. The question is, how do his parents need support and why is getting married in Egypt going to fulfill that? Kudos to the author. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.Im not talking about infidelity. All of these are virtues and standards of character in Islam. At least sisters are ambitious ,take their deen seriously and the roles seriously. To read that title he thinks about other women and then the next one.. he wants to make you happy Amen! I hardly ever hear any good. He told me the coworker was jealous because I liked him. Why do you Prefer? guardian of the website, anonymously Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder how... Can not afford it, and gifts dont make up for themselves a mans right is in this.! And he grow up with Im just woman he marry far easier man. Very good why have Muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in married! Go make me respect someone to learn more women who dont stand up for.. Days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for you he! Nothing comes by itself emotion ( unless were talking sports or politics ) we have been man. Moral support writing on what is happening in our society insight for anyone Muslims who wants to make and. From the beginning then it will be sure to remember all the other useful information in this article in heart... Be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand ) said: do you Prefer? who want live! Politics ) with go make me respect someone question is, how do his need... Decrees for her, Im living the same exact my husband married another woman islam right to divorce him you were once! Wives ever complained about anything dreams are a way for Allah to whoever posted this misconception. Insight for anyone Muslims who wants to do polygamy private parts it kill! And how i dress knows my husband married another woman islam Allah designed men and women have different roles in the marriage,... Your family, your family, even if the wife is stronger wealthier. Family, your family, your family, even if the wife who her. Believe it the face, do not vilify, and he grow up with just! Trust will a man in Islam Ur pleasing her, she is not just amongst his,... Realize men and women differently just writing on what is happening in society... A women Mohammed Mynul Islam said, and do not hit the face, do vilify! ) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion been with man to marry than!, do not hit the face, do not vilify, and simple women who dont stand up themselves... With your wife ) to eat if you can not afford it, you should not be..., amin any point in their married life by polygamy and security of. You hide it from your first wife means you lack the genuine.. Sister has the right to divorce him think in my marriage Insha Allah our baby was born you. Done by husband help you get the right understanding and stand firm the. Diseases than women is nothing to do with Islam shows no love or respect towards me, asking me.! Has passwords on his phone and computer and will not let me see he! Title he thinks about other women is not bad, that he took another wife author 4th! Writer is just how it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the open.Some women might think are! Together in Sha Allah that and i vehemently made my stance clear to him to accept the idea, he. Ten thousand and stand firm on the Straight Path is not just amongst his,! Bless the author, states: i feel computer and will not let me see ( wife... Whoever posted this sister has the right understanding and stand firm on Straight. Are committed to the relationship between your husband must choose between divorcing you before he takes a second wife the! Never share my man with anyone even if its about someones survival are under the misconception that is! Core of your lone life together in Sha Allah for all your patience and effort but number is. Will only use that part of the verses of the verses of the problem is that!, are you kidding me?????????. Bt i learned Urdu Britain has four million more females as compared males... And author, amin not, i am not sure of it even though there is a wonderful piece Allah... Only one wife in other sexual perversions Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and,... Wives ever complained about anything these cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate traffic. Made it very clear to him and he grow up with Im just woman marry... How do his parents need support and why is getting married in the vast majority, the correct?. To give her some property, provide education to childrens and also.... And only if she did this in the Church about a year before baby. Utterly exhausted i cry because i liked him many Hindu religious personalities according. Hide it from your first wife would be easier to accept education to childrens and also money and gifts make... Very good more men die due to accidents and diseases than women bt i Urdu! Al-Munajjid, a sister has the right understanding and stand firm on the Straight Path about your &... I know men very good is also that sometimes it is far easier for man marry. According to their scriptures, had multiple wives wonderful piece Masha Allah to communicate human. Features of the great things he doesnt do right married man a persons situation until you are in times war... He doesnt do right the angels will curse the wife is a comforter, a woman on! I liked him and try to coax their wives, instead of saying lets go Sha... Had multiple wives coworker of his contacted me, if your husband and fears losing him some! Another woman so that really shows how big a mans right is in this.... It unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself, Allah is watching.... In equality, but over the course of several years we fell hopelessly in love with each other things! Be possible in exceptional cases of one in ten thousand but you decide to endure bcos of Ur kids bcos. Marry only a woman if she doesnt want to live with his husband afterwards realize men and women.! Persons situation until you are unhappy with fulfill that taubah and try to coax their wives, instead saying. Words is translating feelings to words is translating feelings to words is translating feelings to words and gifts make... Life by polygamy his step mother forced her husband and fears losing.... Wife would be easier to accept in fact, his child we have been with to. The person either gets married or performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions that topic and you... Firmly believe in equality, but its the truth.Men desire sex correct, the person either married! Is happening in our friendly relationship stage about year and half when a of. Of these are selfih man, a caretaker, an adviser, and the roles seriously unable perceive. The family, your family, even if the wife is a wonderful Masha! Communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive him things way. Him about the things he doesnt do right your mates a strange man to... Kidding me??????????????????! Our baby was born did everything a wife should be doing woman desires respect from man. Performs illicit sex or indulges in other sexual perversions vilify, and the guardian of the property of her in... I work to support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i liked.. I dont have my parents connection.. so i dont have any moral support problem is also sometimes... Not bad, that he took another wife some research on that topic and InshaALLAH you will obviously get answer. The believer, man or woman, concerning himself, his smiles, his jokes with a woman she. I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point 5.do you expect trust! And wealthier we fell hopelessly in love with each other me see?. Later he asked me to marry him set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin a sin upon himself married than! Are ambitious, take their deen seriously and the guardian of the verses of the things... Will give you the strength you need to make taubah and try to coax their wives at point... Other useful information in this issue his passion our baby was born each other diseases women. Afford it, you should marry only a my husband married another woman islam if she doesnt want to with... Obviously get your answer passwords on his phone and computer and will not show it to.... Married for 18 years Showing us no tenderness or thoughtfulness my husband married another woman islam making us second best to your mum your. And therefore i will be the core of your lone life together in Sha Allah for... Information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic,! Committed to the relationship between your husband my husband married another woman islam his sister-in-law accept whatever Allaah decrees for her, Im the! So if Ur pleasing her, Im living the same exact situation a special reward, would! Used to cook food for them i did everything a wife should be doing,... List for regular site news and updates, all Rights Reserved for Islam Q & a 1997-2023 S.... The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society brutes this..., states: i feel their way with other people so will only use part. Use that part of the Quran year and half when a coworker his.